Lust for Life - Holding Absence's "The Greatest Mistake of My Life"

November 13, 2021

Def Leppard’s massive glam metal album (and personal favorite) "Hysteria" took 49 weeks to reach #1 on the US Billboard charts. The wait was worth it: "Hysteria" has sold over 20 million copies worldwide since 1987. On a similar but personal level, Holding Absence released their post-hardcore album "The Greatest Mistake of My Life" in April of this year. It took until late October for it to stick with me, but it has become one of my all-time favorites.

For the better part of a year, a couple tracks germinated a desire to re-listen to the whole album. Finally, "Mourning Song," with its killer vocal performance and slow build to an impeccable peak encouraged me to spin the whole record again. "Awake" begins with ambient instrumentation behind the whispered phrase repeated: "I’m alive!" The same lyrics arrest the listener as "Celebration Song" begins with a shout. The album’s self-titled outro ends perfectly: The intimate, simple melody backed by a piano closes the door and slips away.

Holding Absence achieve every songwriter’s goal. This album is personal enough for Lucas Woodland to sing with ferocity, and vague enough for the audience to insert their own experience between the lyrics. They want to share life’s experiences with us. Rather than preface their name with "By" on the album cover, they write: "Performed by Holding Absence." Leonard Cohen sang in his song "A Bunch of Lonesome Heroes," "Each man beneath his ordinary load;" Similarly, Holding Absence suggest they do not write the songs; they can only perform the songs that tell of everyone's ordinary load.

Nick Miller’s iconic scene from the TV show "New Girl" of passionate fist-pumping to "Cotton-Eyed Joe" in his parked car is approximately how I enjoy this album. Perhaps that’s why Nick’s scene is iconic - everyone relates to his wild, emotional, stoic fist-pumping. Maybe it’s not "Cotton-Eyed Joe" for you. That’s fair. For me, it’s Holding Absence’s “Nomoreroses.”

Highlights:

• "Celebration Song:" Brilliant move, putting a song celebrating life at the beginning of an album on loss.

• "Nomoreroses:" Every album on loss needs a song screaming at Heaven for answers. Holding Absence wrote one of the best.

• "Mourning Song:" "Nomoreroses" is a false peak. The album reaches its pinnacle here. Facing impossible loss, Holding Absence focuses on making the best of now.